Machete Review

With the Expendables released earlier this year how could anything top it in action? Well, it’s quite simple really, just take the three missing from the all star cast in Expendables (Steven Seagal, Robert DeNiro and Danny Trejo) and make one over the top throwback to 70s explotation films. Then to top it all off have it directed by none other than Robert Rodriquez. This is what we call…Machete.

Illegal Immigration laws will be taken new heights thanks to senator John McLaughlin. Immigrants will be kept back with an electric fence and possibly killed for just crossing the border. There might be even be an ulterior motive behind all of this. Though there is just one motive for Machete (Played by Danny Trejo) and Luz (played by Michelle Rodriquez) and that’s to stop Senator McLaughlin (Played by Robert DeNiro) before he is re-elected and can put this new policy in place.

Luz is the leader of a immigration ring called “The Network”. She helps people from Mexico get into the United States and knows that McLaughlins fence could really hurt her operations. On top of this Sartana (played by Jessica Alba) is a enforcer of immigration laws who is trying to also bring down Luz’s operation.

We also have Machete, who just 3 years before all of this was left for dead by Torrez (played by Steven Seagal). After killing Machete’s wife he set a house ablaze with a unconscious and wounded Machete left inside. He was presumed dead until he was found by Booth (Played by Jeff Fahey). Booth hired him to take out McLaughlin at an upcoming speech. Little did Machete know it was a setup and soon Luz, Sartana and Machete will have to join forces to solve a web of deceit and end all the madness going on…very violently (this is by far one of the most over-the-top Action films in a very long time).

Everything about this film screams 70’s. If you caught the “Grindhouse” films from 2006 then you know what to expect. A very gritty film full of action and a fair amount of talking as well. It’s almost as if Robert Rodriquez went back in time with his cast and filmed this using modern cinematic techniques. The end result is just mind blowing.

The film is full of humor as well. There are so many quotable scenes, it’s unbelievable. This movie never has a dull moment. The entire film is well written and just a joy to watch. Bloods squirting, women are naked, limbs are flying and guns are blazing. What else could you want out of a movie that is meant to ooze testosterone off of the screen.

There is only one minor downside to this entire picture and that’s the fact that sometimes the writing loses focus. The plot takes second place to the action at parts. It seems like sometimes there is just violence for well, the sake of violence. Granted that’s not a big problem for me but for many others this could be a tad distracting.

Overall, Machete is full of action, has an all-star cast and looks and feels like it was made 4 decades ago. It’s just awesome.

I give Machete a 9.5/10

Pros:
+ACTION
+TESTOSTERONE
+EVERYTHING

Cons:
-Loses focus here and there…

but honestly, who cares about that con, I’ve been trying to hold this back the entire review but really after writing that I just feel the need to say this, so please excuse me but…

OHMYGODTHISWASTHEBESTMOVIEEVERIHAVENEVERBEENSOENTERTAINEDINATHEATERMYENTIRELIFE!!!

That is pretty much my secondary review.